A new mother has been cheered online for calling the police on her ex-mother-in-law, after she invited herself over to her home and refused to leave her property.
The woman had chosen to end her relationship with her now ex-partner after he unfairly accused her of cheating on him soon after their first child was born. His mother, distraught by the couple's separation, was intent on trying to persuade the Redditor to take back her son. However, her consistent calls and visits soon became a major case of overstepped boundaries.
"I split from my ex-husband three months ago on the day our son was born," the 27-year-old woman wrote on Reddit. "This is because I am ginger, my husband is blonde but our baby came out with dark hair. He freaked out in the delivery room and his behavior got him kicked out the hospital. I had to beg him to do a paternity test and he finally agreed after a month, and it proved that I didn't cheat," she added.
The woman detailed in her post that since the pair had been together for 14 years, she was devastated by his assumption that she had cheated on him. However, she was adamant not to get back together with him after his accusation.
"I was also treated like crap by everyone but my older brother, Alex, while we were waiting for the results because they all thought I had cheated," she continued, opening up about how isolated and judged she felt during that time.
After her test results came back, her ex-husband began begging for her to get back together with him.
"I moved in with Alex after we split, and he comes almost everyday to beg me to get back with him. My in laws have also been harassing me too, especially my mother-in-law who has come over four times in the past week asking me to forgive her son," she explained.
Soon, the Redditor had had enough. On a recent occasion where her mother-in-law turned up to her brother's house uninvited to debate the split, the Redditor ended up calling the police to escort her from the property.
"Yesterday, my mother-in-law turned up to Alex's when he wasn't here, and she had the pastor from the church I used to attend with them," she said. "They practically forced their way in, and I was being berated like a child for not forgiving my ex's 'lapse in judgement'. The pastor basically sat there and said I would be going to hell if I didn't take my ex back. I excused myself to use the bathroom, and called the police."
What Do the Comments Say?
Since it was shared to the social media platform on March 14 by @GingerNutsBiscuitss, the post, which can be seen here, has been upvoted by 97 percent of the users who engaged with it and commented more than 1,700 times. The majority of the comments have slammed the woman's mother-in-law and have backed her decision to call the police on her.
"Your husband and his community of flying monkeys treated you abominably. Thank god for DNA tests to prove you aren't a cheater. By their actions, they all showed their butts. You don't have to accept their demand that you get over it and forgive them," one Redditor wrote.
Another user added: "Agreed 100% with what was said above. Granted he "might" not ever do something like that again in his lifetime *IF* you were to take him back, then again you might sneeze in front of him "wrong" one day and get the same treatment."
Should She Take Him Back?
Family law expert Laura Wasser told Newsweek that "cheating allegations are no joke."
"They can shatter trust, destroy self-esteem, and leave scars that last for years," she said. "It's no wonder this woman decided to break up with her ex-husband."
Wasser has been left with mixed feelings on the Redditor's ex's desire to reconcile their relationship.
"Now he wants to get back together? That's a tough one," she said. "In theory, it's totally possible for exes to reconcile and build a stronger, more resilient relationship. In practice, it's important to consider whether the underlying issues that led to the breakup have been resolved and efforts have been made to work through them together."
Can Exes Get Back Together?
"If the only reason they broke up was because of the cheating accusation, and the woman is still in love with her ex-husband, then it's worth exploring whether they can make it work," Wasser said. "They'll need to have some real, honest conversations about what went wrong and what they can do differently this time around. Maybe they need to establish clearer boundaries or find new ways to build trust."
She does, however, feel that if the pair experienced other issues in their relationship, like incompatible life goals or hugely different communication styles that they aren't willing to work on aligning, then them getting back together may result in further heartbreak down the line.
"As a divorce lawyer, I've seen some couples give it another go and end up happier than ever before, but I've also seen plenty of couples try to force something that just isn't meant to be," she said. "It's all about being honest with yourself and your partner, and being willing to put in the work to make things right."
New York-based psychotherapist Jack Hazan told Newsweek: "After a relationship goes through the wringer that's cheating, sometimes the most common reaction and healthiest thing to do is leave."
"It's really easy to fall into the mindset of blaming the ex who cheated. If this is the case, the relationship will only continue to suffer. However, some relationships can be successful after cheating occurs," he added.
Hazan argues that people have the choice to take a fixed stance if they want to work through the issues in the relationship.
"If you want to try again with your ex and get back together, that leaves room for the both of you to improve and make changes in the relationship," Hazan said, before going on to tell Newsweek that the couple in the Reddit post should work on establishing a healthy foundation if they choose to reconcile.
Certified relationships consultant Salvatore Damiata maintains a more cautious stance than Wasser and Hazan.
"If one has had a dysfunctional relationship and has grown tired of it, then one should not get back together with their ex. That's because we must take actions in the present moment that are aligned with the future vision of our ideal reality," Damiata told Newsweek.
However, Damiata does feel that love can prevail if the exes in question are willing to withstand each other's flaws and work on issues.
"If one is still in love, the question to ask oneself is if they are able to withstand the perceived negative qualities of their partner, even if they make zero attempts at improving their behaviors, all in the name of love," he said.
If that answer is "yes," said Damiata, then the benefits of the love shared and the bond together outweigh the costs of bearing the other person.
Update 03/21/23, 11:40 a.m. ET: This article was updated with comment from Jack Hazan and Salvatore Damiata.
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